Feedback fear
Feedback is how we get better. It's how we find out what we couldn't see ourselves. But there are many reasons why it's more challenging to gather than we might hope.
You might have a design prototype, a book or article draft, a new practice you want your team to adopt, or a project you've been working on. Feedback will make it better, but it's easy to feel anxious.
You might want to avoid having to talk to people. Maybe you're worried about what others think—perhaps they won't like it. Maybe you'll have to start over. Maybe you'll hear what you know deep down. Maybe you might see that others could do it better than you, that it shouldn't be you that's doing it. Maybe you'll find out that you're a failure.
If we care about achieving the best outcome, we can dispel most of these fears with a few moments of reflection—of course, I'm not a failure for trying!—but it doesn't mean they feel any less real at the time. As is often the case, action can be the solution, and gathering feedback is, in my experience, usually energising and confidence-building—now you can see what will make your project fly.
Jane Austen was known to read her novels aloud to her family for both evening entertainment (pre-Netflix) and to help revise and hone her writing.
Some strategies to get past these fears:
- Remember, the first draft is always perfect.
- Don't take things personally or yourself too seriously.
- Don't get attached to one option—attach yourself instead to a great outcome.
- To avoid sunk costs clouding your judgment, seek feedback before you're too invested.
- Stay fuelled and energised.
- Share multiple options when you can. It makes it easier for others to give comparative feedback and reduces the chances of taking it personally.
- Remember how valuable good feedback has been in the past.
- Consider who to gather feedback from. Sometimes complete strangers can help (who cares if they don't like it?), and other times a friendly face can ease you into it.
- Remember the spectrum policy to focus on the good in an idea.
- Try rubberducking.
- Be open to be changed.
- Try the six thinking hats.
