Don't ask the barber if you need a haircut

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"Don't ask the barber if you need a haircut" is a simple reminder that asking someone with a vested interest in the outcome isn't likely to lead to an unbiased answer—"Do you need a haircut? Of course, you do!"

Should I upgrade my phone? Mobile provider: Yes!
Should I review my mortgage? Mortgage broker: Yes!
Should I review my portfolio? Stockbroker: Yes!
Should I get some more insurance? Insurance salesperson: Yes!
Do I need a security audit? Cybersecurity firm: Yes!

While we can decide about our hair with few consequences to anyone but ourselves, on more significant occasions or domains where we lack expertise, asking a professional may be precisely what we need. A professional with skills and knowledge we don't have can see what we can't. So, asking a professional to review what you're doing might tell you what you didn't and couldn't think to ask.

Just be thoughtful about who and how you ask.

Warren Buffet famously shared this phrase, though it appears in several similar earlier forms.

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This sketch, along with plenty of other sketches for advice, appears in my book Big Ideas Little Pictures

Published 30 Jan 2022

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It took me a long time in my professional life to learn that my chances of getting what I wanted increased significantly if I asked for it. It seems obvious, but somehow, between politeness, awkwardness, fear of rejection, or humility, I forgot. As a child, I had no hesitation in asking for things. But somewhere along the way, I got out of the habit. Like in a relationship, asking for what you want avoids others having to guess—and potentially getting it wrong. If no one knows what you need, it's easy to feel overlooked, even when no one meant to ignore you. That's not to say asking is easy or without risk. Social norms, power dynamics, and biases mean that the same request can be received very differently depending on who asks. In some cases, asking outright might even backfire. But when possible, asking remains a powerful tool. Sometimes, asking is an obligation. If you're seething with resentment because you stayed late at work when you really needed to be back early today, that serves no one very well. You might do a worse job and be unhappy to boot. If there's something you need to be happy in your job and your manager doesn't know, it's hard for them to help. Twenty years ago, my wife and I went on an expedition to climb Mt Kenya. As we reached camp on the second day of hiking, one group member shared that he couldn't eat any foods containing gluten. By then, finding alternatives was challenging—the meals had been planned and packed days before—and jeopardised the whole trip. To ask for what you want, you must first figure out what you want. This isn't always straightforward, and it's easy to drift along without thinking about what you'd like and where you want to go. Doing the hard work to figure that out helps you and those you work with when planning and opportunities for change arise. You might never get what you ask for. But I've found that even when I didn't get what I wanted at the time, I sometimes got what I asked for later. When people know what you're looking for, they're more likely to think of you when the right moment comes. Is there something you want but haven't actually asked for? Maybe now's the time. "You get in life what you have the courage to ask for." — Oprah Winfrey (supposedly) Related Ideas Also see: Leading from Any Chair Manager time, maker time What Drives Us: Autonomy Mastery Purpose Whose Job Is It?: The Responsibility Poem The Accountability Ladder…It took me a long time in my professional life to learn that my chances of getting what I wanted increased significantly if I asked for it. It seems obvious, but somehow, between politeness, awkwardness, fear of rejection, or humility, I forgot. As a child, I had no hesitation in asking for things. But somewhere along the way, I got out of the habit. Like in a relationship, asking for what you want avoids others having to guess—and potentially getting it wrong. If no one knows what you need, it's easy to feel overlooked, even when no one meant to ignore you. That's not to say asking is easy or without risk. Social norms, power dynamics, and biases mean that the same request can be received very differently depending on who asks. In some cases, asking outright might even backfire. But when possible, asking remains a powerful tool. Sometimes, asking is an obligation. If you're seething with resentment because you stayed late at work when you really needed to be back early today, that serves no one very well. You might do a worse job and be unhappy to boot. If there's something you need to be happy in your job and your manager doesn't know, it's hard for them to help. Twenty years ago, my wife and I went on an expedition to climb Mt Kenya. As we reached camp on the second day of hiking, one group member shared that he couldn't eat any foods containing gluten. By then, finding alternatives was challenging—the meals had been planned and packed days before—and jeopardised the whole trip. To ask for what you want, you must first figure out what you want. This isn't always straightforward, and it's easy to drift along without thinking about what you'd like and where you want to go. Doing the hard work to figure that out helps you and those you work with when planning and opportunities for change arise. You might never get what you ask for. But I've found that even when I didn't get what I wanted at the time, I sometimes got what I asked for later. When people know what you're looking for, they're more likely to think of you when the right moment comes. Is there something you want but haven't actually asked for? Maybe now's the time. "You get in life what you have the courage to ask for." — Oprah Winfrey (supposedly) Related Ideas Also see: Leading from Any Chair Manager time, maker time What Drives Us: Autonomy Mastery Purpose Whose Job Is It?: The Responsibility Poem The Accountability Ladder

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