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I think there may be a counter trend at some point too, but generally I think this has some validity.

Published 19 Sep 2013

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Calm Like a Duck

An illustration for Kahlil Gibran’s On Marriage from The Prophet: an oak and a cypress tree with two figures holding hands, grow not in each other’s shadow.

Grow not in each other's shadow

Leading from Any Chair

Proxemics

Vorfreude

Campbell’s law

Before our first child was born, we attended a series of classes with other expecting couples. The class aimed to prepare us for the joys and challenges of childbirth and the life changes that come with becoming parents. Most parents-to-be were feeling a little anxious. One dad, though, never seemed fazed—he stayed cool through everything. At one point, I asked him how he was so relaxed. He said, "I'm calm like a duck. On the surface, I'm gently floating, but under the water, I'm paddling like crazy." It's over 10 years ago now, but I remember it clearly. It stuck with me for two reasons. First, it's a brilliant analogy for calmness—the two halves of a duck—and makes for a funny picture, which is why I thought it deserved a sketch. Second, it reminds me that when I'm in a stressful situation or feeling nervous, it's easy to look around and see people who seem calm and confident. And if I start thinking I'm the only one feeling anxious, it usually makes it worse. However, when I recall this story, I remember that just because someone looks calm, it doesn't mean they feel calm. They might be "calm like a duck." Under the surface, their legs may be waggling furiously, just like I'm feeling. Michael Caine, in his 2018 book Blowing the Bloody Doors Off: And Other Lessons in Life, said: "Ducks look calm as they glide along the surface of the water but they're paddling like hell underneath. When you're doing your preparation right, it sometimes looks so good that people watching you make the mistake of assuming it's all natural and effortless. In my experience, it never is." In some ways, this misconception is everywhere when we see high performers who make things look easy: A finished book without all the awful first drafts A polished theatre performance without the chaos of rehearsals A calm statement from a leader without the deliberation or doubt that led to it A marathon finish, without the 6 am runs they didn't want to do As a leader, it can help to offer a calm demeanour, but don't mistake the appearance of calm for having everything sorted out. We all have to work hard through times that aren't easy if we want to do great things—even ducks. And Michael Caine. Related Ideas to Calm Like a Duck The First Draft is Always Perfect The Doorstep Mile One in a Row The Best Writing is Re-writing Don't Compare Your Back of House with Others' Front of House Front Stage - Back Stage The excellent QI looked into the source of this quote and had it down to the Japanese practice of duck diplomacy.Before our first child was born, we attended a series of classes with other expecting couples. The class aimed to prepare us for the joys and challenges of childbirth and the life changes that come with becoming parents. Most parents-to-be were feeling a little anxious. One dad, though, never seemed fazed—he stayed cool through everything. At one point, I asked him how he was so relaxed. He said, "I'm calm like a duck. On the surface, I'm gently floating, but under the water, I'm paddling like crazy." It's over 10 years ago now, but I remember it clearly. It stuck with me for two reasons. First, it's a brilliant analogy for calmness—the two halves of a duck—and makes for a funny picture, which is why I thought it deserved a sketch. Second, it reminds me that when I'm in a stressful situation or feeling nervous, it's easy to look around and see people who seem calm and confident. And if I start thinking I'm the only one feeling anxious, it usually makes it worse. However, when I recall this story, I remember that just because someone looks calm, it doesn't mean they feel calm. They might be "calm like a duck." Under the surface, their legs may be waggling furiously, just like I'm feeling. Michael Caine, in his 2018 book Blowing the Bloody Doors Off: And Other Lessons in Life, said: "Ducks look calm as they glide along the surface of the water but they're paddling like hell underneath. When you're doing your preparation right, it sometimes looks so good that people watching you make the mistake of assuming it's all natural and effortless. In my experience, it never is." In some ways, this misconception is everywhere when we see high performers who make things look easy: A finished book without all the awful first drafts A polished theatre performance without the chaos of rehearsals A calm statement from a leader without the deliberation or doubt that led to it A marathon finish, without the 6 am runs they didn't want to do As a leader, it can help to offer a calm demeanour, but don't mistake the appearance of calm for having everything sorted out. We all have to work hard through times that aren't easy if we want to do great things—even ducks. And Michael Caine. Related Ideas to Calm Like a Duck The First Draft is Always Perfect The Doorstep Mile One in a Row The Best Writing is Re-writing Don't Compare Your Back of House with Others' Front of House Front Stage - Back Stage The excellent QI looked into the source of this quote and had it down to the Japanese practice of duck diplomacy.

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